Have you heard the term ‘Personality Development’ before? And are you looking to find out what it’s all about? What if I said it was the study of changing your life…
What Is Personality Development?
The best way to look at personality development is the practice of improving your personality! Chipping away at all the negative aspects. And polishing up the best parts. For example, there are things that you’re naturally good at. So instead of focusing all your time on trying to improve everything you’re mediocre at (and only getting mediocre results), you should invest most of your time on the characteristics that you naturally excel at. And therefore get them to a level of excellence that can’t be reached by someone without your natural gifts!
However, whilst you should focus a lot of your time honing one or two of your best traits. It’s also important to replace or play down your negative traits.
I am an extremely laid back guy. Nothing really stresses me out and I don’t ever feel a sense of urgency. This is my best AND worst character trait. It’s great because I never worry or get stressed about life. BUT it’s bad because sometimes I don’t put in 100% of the effort I know I can and in the end, I sell myself short. So I know the most important way I can develop my personality for the future is to replace putting things off with taking action.
What do you think your biggest strengths and weaknesses are? And what can you do to improve upon what you have and replace or play down what you need to change?
I’m Not Saying You Shouldn’t Accept Yourself
It may look like I’m saying you aren’t good enough the way you are. And that I am not accepting myself. But it’s very contradictory. You should be in a mindset where you’re happy with who you are, but also looking forward to who you will become. Once you get into this mindset you will become unstoppable.
No matter how old you are you can start to develop your personality. Even if you’re 80+ it’s never too late.
Importance of Personality Development
Think about the people you know who went the furthest in life. You know the ones, they always seemed to have their life figured out. And knew exactly what they wanted from it. People tended to gravitate towards them, and no matter what line of work they were in they were always getting to a manager position.
They have got to this point because their personality is well rounded and developed. The people that stand out in life most are the ones are the intelligent ones. And that’s not just intelligence in the sense of knowledge. It’s the intelligence to be able to read people and situations, the intelligence to understand themselves. As well as the intelligence of understanding the rules of life and how to play properly.
All of this intelligence can be gathered from personality development.
Stages Of Personality Development
Your personality is developing all through your life. Just because your body stops growing at a certain point, it doesn’t mean your mind does. The amount of time your personality takes to develop is extremely fast in your early years of life but as time goes on, it takes longer and longer. These are a SHORT and not completely conclusive guide to how your personality develops. Do NOT take these as EXACTLY the way they are. This is just a rough guide to get your head around it.
Up to 18 Months
From Birth to 18 months is the time you will learn about trust or mistrust. If your carer is there for you all the time. And feed you and soothe you, then the chances are good that you will grow up developing trust. However, IF your carer doesn’t give you the attention you need in these first few months. Then you will develop a natural mistrust in people. Of course, this can be devastating to your social well being. This might cause lack of trust later in life. Or feelings that people are talking about you behind your back.
18 Months – 3 Years
This is the start of where your self-esteem will begin to develop. You will start to have control of your own body (Learning to eat and move occur in this phase as well as potty training). The most dangerous part of this phase once again is HOW your parents treat you in this phase. Especially when it comes to potty training. If your parents shame you or make you feel inadequate in this phase, then the chances of having good self-esteem in yourself are very LOW.
These are the years where you gain a lot of your independence. You learn to play by yourself, dress, create friendship and walk to school by yourself, in the later years. And this is also the time when you begin to notice everybody is different. These are the years that are going to define whether you feel inferior, superior or equal to the people around you.
What groups you get put in at school may define how you view yourself.
From 12-18 Years old you are figuring out who you are. This where you start to figure out a rough idea of what you want from your life. A lot of pressure can occur in this phase, from the person themselves. Or, unfortunately from the parents who may have a different plan for their child than what he or she wants.
If you’re reading this and you’re in THIS phase of your life. Be smart and make sure you follow your own judgment on what you want from life. Don’t be afraid to listen to advice from your parents and friends. But at the end of the day, this is YOUR life and you can live it the way you want too.
This is the time where are looking for your success in life. Trying to fulfill the force inside you that makes you tick. This could be finding a partner and starting a family. Finding a job you love and working hard on it. Or creating your own path in life.
Whatever it is if you’re not always seeking where you truly belong the next phases won’t be as pleasant.
If you don’t see your life as being worthy thus far, you may experience a mid-life crisis. The number one thing that is going to cause this to happen is if you haven’t been successful in the endeavor that TRULY sets your soul on fire. That’s why you see 50-year-old businessmen with all the money in the world, going off the deep end. Because while they were massively successful in business, it was unfortunately in a role that didn’t fulfill them.
55 Years – Death
These are the ‘wise’ years of your life. Hopefully, you have lived well up to this point and if you have you will feel a deep sense of integrity. If not you may feel a deep sense of despair.
If you’re at this point in your life and you do feel despair. It’s okay. This isn’t a bad thing. This is your consciousness literally screaming at you, WAKE UP! DO WHAT YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO DO!’
You may not have as much time as someone in their 20’s BUT you’re not dead yet. So now more than ever is the time to WAKE UP, shake your life up AND do what you’ve been put on this Earth to do.
Personality Development Training
Fortunately, no matter what age you are at you can still change your personality. The younger you are the better. But people of ANY age can shift their personality. While there are countless ways to develop your personality, we’ll start with the fundamentals. The things you HAVE to do if you wish to see success.
Before you do anything else you must know yourself. What your strengths and weaknesses are what you do and don’t want from life. Any big personality flaws you have and what you TRULY excel at. And analyze all of this with excruciating precision. Ask for help from family and close friends on what they think your biggest strengths and weaknesses are. Do their words align with what you thought?
You’re going to have to be brutally honest with yourself. Try to distinguish whats real from what you thin is real. Remember your view of reality is different from how it truly is. So make sure you only deal in facts.
Introduce Newness Into Your Life
It doesn’t matter what the source is. Be it people, books, radio shows, movies, audiobooks. As long as it’s bringing great and NEW ideas into your life. If you never get new influences into your life, you’re never going to learn anything that can develop your personality and improve who you are. If you read 15 minutes of a book per day, that’ll be a book every 2 weeks. Think how many new ideas you could learn from 24 books a year.
The most helpful tool I use to always get great new ideas is Audible. Getting a new audiobook you can listen to every month on the go is the BEST way I know to improve the amount of knowledge you can pour into your own head.
Become a GREAT Listener
How many times have you heard this saying? Has it ever really sunk in how important it is? Why is being a great listener important to personality development? Well it’s because:
“When you talk, you are only repeating what you already know. But if you listen, you may learn something new.” – Dalai Lama
So how often do you see yourself being the talker in the conversation and not the listener? How do you expect to develop your personality when you’re always repeating the same information instead of learning something new?
Become a Positive Thinker
There’s an age-old proverb that has been said in 100’s of different ways by 100’s of different people. But the message is the same then as it is now. And just as true:
“What we think, we become”
Your thoughts are the base for everything you do. The thoughts you think turn into your actions and what you say. When you take positive actions and speak positively you’ll develop positive habits. And the more positive habits you have the more positive your life will become.
So start being more positive work on thinking positive thoughts and the rest will follow. Just like you can’t change the course of a river in one day the same is true here. But changing the course little by little every day will eventually get the river flowing in a completely different direction.
Remember it’s not what life does to you that will shape your outcome in life. What you’re going through hundreds maybe thousands of people have also gone through. It is your attitude and actions responding to the situation that will define your life.
This one piece of advice will change your life. What have you stayed consistent at no matter what? And how many things have you started and not finished? I believe consistency which I like to believe is your will to succeed is THE most important step to accomplishing ANYTHING great in your life.
Imagine if a consistent effort wasn’t put into the buildings and houses in your town? If those builders gave up halfway through or when things got a bit difficult. Your town would just be an assembly of bottoms floors and unfinished projects. Well, your life is the same thing. How many buildings in your life have you left unfinished?
Instead of trying to have 100 small unfinished houses. Aim to build one HUGE Skyscraper. That you stay consistent at building day after day.
The Rest Is Up To You!
Now you know the key fundamentals of personality development as well as some steps you can take, the choice on what you do with your life is yours. If you are truly serious about creating great change in your life then you should DEFINITELY research personality development a LOT more.
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